My way to a healthier and happier life…
…and a nice ass
Today I want tell you about you about the long way I came along in my fitness jourey so far.
I started with 115 kilos/254 pounds on 1,72 meters body height in 2012 after the birth of my son! Yes you heard thar right, freaking 115kilos!
How did I get to this weight?
I got pregnant when I was 19 from a man I loved like i never loved a person before, we were perfect for half a year I guess, but after that the relationship was abusive and in the end unhealthy for both of us, it definitly was a nightmare many times for me.
I remember the way he looked at me when I gained my first 5 kilos during pregnancy, disgust and hate, mixed with something I still cant discribe. From then on I felt like it was over anyways, I knew that a weight gain of 15 kilos was totally possible and normal and thought if he`s disgusted by me and this mini bump already, then why trying to keep it low.
Food was the only thing giving me a bit of comfort. And since the pregnancy wasnt going well, (had first contractions in the fifth months and was hospitalised several times) I wasnt allowed a lot of physical activity and was on bed rest quite often.
The pregancy started around 70 kilos ( I had already gained like 5 kilos in the six months before) and ended at whooping 115kilos!
I felt miserable! And since Im unabled to see myself ( Im serious, I unfortunatly still rely on the judgement of others, because I cant objectively see my own body) I felt as ugly as I was treated.
How Did I Start?
The first kilos came down easy. I lost like 20 kilos in half a year just by breastfeeding. I thought it would only take time for the fat to melt of my body, but it didnt. Never in my life was I eating an obviously poor diet, full of greasy fast food products, but I ate too many processed foods, not enough whole foods and generally I ate way too much!
I didnt get enough sleep, since my son was a serious cry baby (it was hardcore and many wondered how I managed to do it, with pretty much no help), I had no energy left for anything other than my child, my dog and my household.
One day I saw a picture on facebook, when my son nearly one year old, of a now famous fitness trainer, who lost an enormous amount of weight and I thought, if she made it back into a bikini, I can at least make it back into a dress…
From now on, when, after an hour of walking up and down in my tiny apartement with my crying son in my arms, he finally fell asleep, I didnt fell in a coma on the couch.
I went straight to bathroom, put workout clothes on and did what I could to get a proper sweat in.
And damn this was hard! And yes, my household looked a mess from time to time, but I just thought to myself:
Nobody will remeber if I washed the dishes tonight, but Im going to remember whether or not I was happy and my son will too!
I did not want to train at all! But I did, day after day, after it wasnt something that costed me extra energy, but rather became something I gained energy from.
Most importantly mental strength!
And suddendly, I started to enjoy it! I needed it, although I didnt saw major change in the mirror or on the scale first, but I felt it. I felt muscles under the coat of sadness aka fat.
I started lifting weights, I started working out with my son, if possible. I packed resistance bands and weights in a backpack, went for a walk with my son in his buggy and soon as he fell asleep, I searched for a bench, did triceps dips, box jumps, push ups and lunge alternatives, wrapped the bands around a tree and did every excercise possible with them.
Every time I could get a babysitter, what did not happen very often, I went to the gym or for a run and up and downhill sprints.
I started doing yoga, which was one of the best dicisions I ever made and brought me a big step further in my journey.
I started learning more about fitness and nutrition, wrote plans for myself (which I now can only laugh at, they werent good, but they worked) and by the time my son turned two, I only had 7 or five kilos left to my before pregnancy weight even tho I gained a lot of muscle and I eventually became a personal trainer for EMS training after busting my butt in a test week and Im proud to say, I was a pretty trainer.
I worked as a trainer for one year, before my boss fired me, she couldnt afford paying me any longer (she really did everything wrong that you can do wrong with a young business).
I had to choose between two jobs, one as a personal trainer, but rather far from daycare and home and a restaurant job a former fitness client offered me, that payed off more and was close to daycare. I took the restaurant job, a mistake, but we do wrong and we learn… I missed the work as a trainer terribly, but I look forward going back to it in the future.
Since Im pregnant with my second child and its going rough as well, the first three months were all about overeating and feeling horrible, I felt more sick than pregnant, I already went up ten kilos up in the first three months. Now I can at least do some moderate activity and only gained two more kilos in the last two months.
But going from lifting heavy weights to “light pregnancy yoga for beginners” is a hard downgrade, which took time to accept. But now I can see it as a chance to get my nutrition, the hardest part, on point!
Ill start studying holistic nutrition online soon, hopefully next month, and I can finally enjoy this miracle of a growing life inside me.
Im not dying of anxiety because I am gaining healthy weight, because I learned what a badass mom I can am and last but not least, because I`ve got a wonderful and supportive man behind me, who offers me a shoulder to lean in my weak moments.
Work on loving your soul, on stress management, value yourself, love yourself and others will love you too.
Oh, and have kids! They are the best teachers.
If youre still asking yourself how you can get started, with or without equipment, stay tuned, Ill tell you a bunch of my favorite body weight and at home workouts soon!
Until then, Just do it! Seriously!
The best way to get off the couch is not even taking a seat in the first place 😉